Well Alice said “Aloha, I’ll call you when I land,”
Then she left through gate eleven for the getaway we’d planned.
You see I had had to cancel, ‘cause a client copped a plea
And I’ve got this pile of paperwork just tryin’ to bury me.
So help me Honolulu, show Alice a good time
‘Cause I promised her the good life on a Memphis law firm’s dime
Help her not to notice she’s alone on Waikiki
I’m countin’ on you Honolulu,
stand in for me.
Well this time it was “Audios, I’ll call you if I can,”
Then she checked her bags at curb side and her make-up at gate ten
You see I had had to cancel, ‘cause a client jumped his bail
And he’ll keep me on retainer if I can keep him out of jail
So help me Acapulco, there’s been a sudden change of plan
And I promised her that this time she’d be with an actual man
Help her to ignore the empty stool where I should be
Though I’m a no-show, Acapulco,
stand in for me.
Well here’s some free advice…
It’s OK to make mistakes, just don’t make the same one twice.
The note said “Sianara, and don’t expect a call,”
And so far I got postcards from Japan and now Nepal,
See Alice found her stand-in; some judge from circuit eight
And they’re circling the world right now with half of my estate.
Thank you Honolulu! Or should I say thanks a lot,
She had way to good a good time, and now time is all I’ve got
As for Acupulco, well I guess your off scott free
And I’m fired up, I must confess
And while you toast your sweet success
I’ll curse the words that caused this mess…
“Stand in for me.”
All Content Copyright © 2004 'Lil Emu Music, BMI; Fizzy Lime Music BMI